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The value of spending quality time with loved one is immeasurable, and shapes our lives in ways that we may not recognize until much later. Engaging in family activities is a key element in strengthening and maintaining relationships, and stimulating learning. However, in these times of economic difficulty, it is sometimes challenging to allocate financial resources and time away from work for endeavors that detract from the daunting task of sustaining a household.
In my thirty years of working with youth, I have encountered scores of young people in their late teens who have done little more than gone to the movies or to their neighborhood park. Consequently, their perspectives of the world are narrow, which imposes limits on their potential. Lack of finances and knowledge about local activities, preconceived attitudes about pursuits deemed as culturally irrelevant, boring or lacking in value, and time constraints because of work and other obligations are all factors that affect family's ability to plan and implement collective activities.
I have attempted to circumvent those pitfalls, and truly enrich the lives of my children (now adults) and grandchildren by providing them with fun, learning experiences that incorporate spending time together. As an educator, I am acutely aware that learning goes beyond the boundaries of the classroom, that much of it is dictated by community and family, and that it is a lifetime undertaking augmented by all of our experiences.
As my family struggled to recover from a terrible tragedy in which my grandson, Jabari, was shot and killed on May 10, 2010, two days before his eighteen birthday, I gained an even deeper appreciation for the time our family spends together. About seven years ago, we developed our annual "family fun week" in which we gathered and engaged in a variety of activities. We went to museums, science centers, movies, arcades and fun centers, parks, beaches, zoos, and many other places. For five years, we gathered and embarked on a different adventure for a several consecutive days.
In the summer of 2007, as I prepared to move from Ann Arbor, Michigan to Baltimore, Maryland, the significance of our time together became even more important as this would be the last time for several years that we would have such an extended period together.
In March 2010, after several days of working on a film project in Detroit for one of my graduate classes (at Morgan State University), I was determined to spend time with my family before I returned to Baltimore. That evening, we went to the market, bought party snacks, including ice cream and cake, selected a couple of movies, and gathered at my the home of my son, Armica. In what we called a sleepover, we stayed up all night watching movies and eating junk. When we finally went to sleep, it was together on pallets on the floor and on the sofa in the living room.
I did not know that would be the last time I would see Jabari, alive. I returned to Detroit in May 2010 for his funeral. I am so thankful that spending quality time with family was a priority despite my hectic schedule. Since then, every moment we spend together has even greater significance.
This past summer, we continued our tradition of gathering the family for a special activity. This time, we went to Cedar Point Amusement Park and enjoyed the chance to renew our connections, relax, rejuvenate, and simply have fun. In more than twenty years of visiting the roller coaster capital in Sandusky, Ohio, this was my first time going only with my family and staying overnight. Instead of traveling with forty or fifty people on a bus and following a group itinerary, six of us--my daughter, Maat, four of my grandchildren, and I traveled together and adhered strictly to what we wanted to do.
This trip was particularly important to us for several reasons. We are still struggling to recover from the terrible tragedy of Jabari's death, and it was our first significant family endeavor without him. This was another step toward reestablishing our family cohesiveness and facilitating our healing. It was also the first visit to an amusement park for each of the children, and my first time traveling from Baltimore to Detroit specifically to make that journey with my family.
It was a sizzling ninety something degrees when we arrived at the park in the afternoon, and it was brutal walking in the sun for seven hours, but it did not at all discourage us. Our first stop was the classic Merry-go-round which I declined riding because going in circles makes me nauseous; and truthfully, I am pretty much a coward when it comes to getting on rides. I enjoy watching others as they are thrust thousands of feet into the air and plummeted nearly to the ground at speeds that make their stomachs plunge to their feet and hearts pound in their chest.
Malik (age eleven), Munashe (age twelve), and Maat (Oyin's mother), got on roller coasters from the Cork Screw and Blue Streak (near the entrance of the park) to the Mean Streak and Millennium (near the back of the park), and many rides in between. We also spent a significant amount of time in Kiddy Kingdom because the height of the height of Oyin and Yaminah (both age eight), prevented them from getting on certain rides outside of the children's area.
As night fell, we stopped for ice cream and made our way pass the Merry-go-round, where we started earlier, toward the park exit. We were all tired, yet exuberant because we had spent a fun-filled day together in a magnificent family environment.
The next day, it was in the nineties again, but we luxuriated in the comfort of the climate controlled water park at Castaway Bay, which reminded me of a colorful, indoor tropical paradise. For about six hours, we splashed and played on water slides of varying sizes and intensities, and made our way into a wave pool to be bombarded by tides that ebbed and flowed with the force of ocean currents. We were willing subjects as huge and small buckets dumped water on us from high above our heads, and we played basketball and catch in a pool area with nets and foam balls. Sometimes we sat quietly in a shallow pool with sprinklers, small animals and statues spewing gentle streams of water on younger children and timid adults.
After an exhilarating day of aquatic fun, around five o'clock, everyone was exhausted and hungry. We had dinner at the New Chinese Buffet, an all-you-can-eat restaurant with a classy, family friendly atmosphere, actual plates and eating utensils that were not plastic, and a variety of food that would satisfy each.
Our trip to Cedar Point and Castaway Bay was our effort to uphold an annual tradition of participating in a collective family activity which helps us sustain our strong bond. We were also able to relax and get away from the daily regimen, emotional demands, and stresses associated with work, school, and life in general. For a couple of days we escaped into a fantasy world that allowed us to rejuvenate our hearts and spirits. Photographs from this and other events serve as a treasured reminder of our wonderful experiences together and as an inspiration for us to plan our next adventure.
We all missed Jabari, and I knew he would have enjoyed himself immensely because we had gone to Cedar Point (on school and community center excursions) many times before his passing. I imagined him smiling down on us, happy that we have been able to rebuild our lives, reconcile the pain, and carry on as a family.
Moments with loved ones should be treasured, and we may have to make a special effort to create them. Of course, it will not always be pleasant, but life has its positives and negatives. The important thing is that we hold on to the memories of good times and learn the lessons that made other times less than positive.
Below are a few tips to make your planning more effective and your gatherings and activities pleasant.
- Plan in advance so that you can take advantage of early bird discounts and special deals.
- Develop an itinerary before you begin you excursion. Include rest, snack and meal breaks, particularly if you have young participants. Have a plan for remaining hydrated if you are outside for long periods during extreme heat; or a plan for warming up if the weather is cold.
- Consider the mode of transportation that will be cost effective, comfortable, and realistic for your family.
- Pack non-perishable food items and beverages for snacks and light meals.
